I have been blogging here for almost four years. Not so long really, but I have actually been writing about infertility and pregnancy loss for a lot longer. In fact, I started posting about pregnancy loss, and the related infertility fears, back in 2002 - twelve years ago, several years after my journey in infertility began. In October 2003, I was forced to switch and start talking about living the rest of my life without children.
So for ten years, I’ve been thinking about living a No Kidding life. That’s enough time to have figured out some things. I certainly don’t have it right yet. I'm not 100% at peace, and I probably never will be. But let’s be honest, who is 100% at peace? Not most of my friends. And I'm pretty close.
The truth is I'm okay with where I am (employment issues excepted) in life. I refer to the benefits and gifts of infertility periodically. I've was going to list them all in one post. But why write one post when I can write ten. So this post is the start of a series - the 15 Gifts of Infertility. (Update: The series will go to 25!)
And the first is that, as a result of infertility, I know I'm not alone. I've felt alone in the past, wondered if people understand me, if I am the only one who feels the way I feel. Then I experienced loss through ectopic pregnancy, grief, and infertility that brought more loss and grief. Initially I felt very alone when I went through all this. I wrote about it here.
But now I know. However alone I might feel when surrounded by parents, kids, grandparents and grand-kids, I know I'm not alone. Infertility and loss made me feel terribly alone initially, but ultimately, the connections I have made with other women have reminded me that we are never alone. There are always others in the world who know how we feel, who understand what we go through, and who share our fears, our thoughts, our rages, and our joys.
And this knowledge applies to our infertility, but to other aspects of our lives too. If we’re not alone due to our childlessness, then it must follow that we’re not alone in other areas of our lives either. We just have to look for our people.
We are not alone. We are never alone. That is not a little thing.