08 September, 2014

#Microblog Mondays: It's a Valid Choice

Aisha Tyler spoke again about infertility (as well as a lot of other interesting topics), and made some points I think are worth sharing.

  1. Concentrating on your career, not family, at any time is a valid choice.  
  2. Choosing to stop is a valid choice too.  
  3. Most women can't afford to pursue treatment after treatment.
  4. Most women don't get pregnant - we only focus on the Cinderella stories.  At last, someone said it.
  5. There is no clock ticking on adoption. Whilst I disagree with this - depending on your location and budget, there is definitely an age factor when it comes to placements - I think that she was actually saying that choosing not to adopt (or not to rush into adoption) is a valid choice too.

If you have the time, watch her entire interview here.

PS.  Thanks to Mel for giving me the heads up on this interview.


  1. Yes, those are indeed all valid choices. Hope to have time to watch the video sometime soon...

  2. I think she's correct in the US that there isn't a clock ticking on adoption. I can't speak for other parts of the world, but there are older parent placements for older children in foster-to-adopt situations. I think if you're open to a child and not only seeking a baby, it's possible to have a placement well beyond when it would be biologically possible to have a child (with or without assistance). That said, I can't speak for 65+ :-)

    I love that she put it out there: stopping is a valid choice. Just because you started something doesn't mean that you can't exercise the right option for you, which may be stopping. Or changing. Or whatever works for the individual.

  3. Love this! Thanks for the link!

  4. It's like everything I've been thinking lately rolled up into a few awesome bullet points- thanks for posting this!

  5. She's such a great voice for childless/free women. :)

  6. I live in Ireland, and at the adoption information system we were told that the "rule of thumb" was no more than 40 years between the child and either adoptive parent. This is for both domestic (which is quite rare) and international adoption. The waiting list is long, 3 years was described as a "very short" wait and 5+ years is not unusual. So if either parent is over 35 at the start of the process, the clock is very much ticking.

  7. I love Aisha Tyler! These are really great points. I've really appreciated her openness about her infertility and her decision to just walk away from the insanity. I agree that to me there is definitely a limit on adoption. For example, adoption can takes years, and if you didn't start until 40, that may not be the best choice for a lot of people.