Appreciating "ouch" moments

Those ghastly "ouch!" moments and meltdowns that we all know so well can, sometimes years later, still occasionally sneak up on us, shaking our confidence and damaging our hopes for continued healing and recovery.

The good news of course is that these meltdowns and painful moments decrease in frequency as we heal, through our own efforts, or through time, or usually a combination of both. So that can make it even more disappointing and upsetting when we get hit unexpectedly. We aren’t expecting it, we are no longer constantly bracing ourselves against the pain, and so we suddenly have to deal with shock and a feeling of failure on top of the usual hurt and loss that hit us in an "ouch" moment.

But even when these come, there is a bright side. I think that the very fact an ouch moment or even a full meltdown can be so unexpected means that by and large we’re doing really well, and have made a lot of progress.

In the midst of an upsetting interlude, though, it is easy to feel that we’ve made no progress at all. But when the storm abates, and the clouds disperse and you can see more clearly again, I hope that you take time to recognise how far you’ve come, and remember to give yourselves a pat on the back. I do.