A lot of people think that those of us who never had
children never lost anything, because we never had anything to lose. My best
friend at the time said this to me. and I’ve heard the view elsewhere. But
recently, on a silly TV show, the wise comment was made along the lines that
losing the past was painful, but losing the future was infinite. It struck me
immediately that this is precisely why it is so painful for so many of us.
You all know though that I try (try being the operative word
here) to choose not to think of the future I lost, but to focus on the future I
have.
Finally, someone a while ago commented on one of my (brief)
posts that they wish they had it laminated, and it got me thinking. I’m thinking
about producing a simple and short book, or perhaps a calendar, of some of the
memes and sayings that have been well received here on the blog. If I can get
it done in the next week or so, it would be available for Christmas or the New
Year, if there would be any interest in that. If that is, I can work out the technology and the logistics!
Oh, I would totally buy that calendar, or a flipbook that could sit on the desk and be changed to a different meme or saying. That would be lovely.
ReplyDeleteAnd infinite loss...yes. Thinking of the generational impact in particular. Of the word "legacy" and how to make it mean something different than progeny.
I can't wait to see this production of yours! :)
Flipbook is a perfect idea!
DeleteThis is so true. I think people struggle with the concept of losing something that wasn’t physically there. People tend to shy away from the idea that loss happens even if the physical scars aren’t there (or are hidden). It requires a lot of empathy and insight so many struggle with as it is often extremely profound and not easily fixable.
ReplyDeleteI think a calendar or flip-book is a great idea! That is something I would not only purchase, but happily gift to others
Infinite loss... yes, this sentence completely gets our feelings.
ReplyDeleteFlipbook / calendar with your quotes is a lovely idea!
I don't know why the word "infinite" scares me more than "for ever". But it sure is something I discussed with my therapist. Navigating ever more complicated decisions. But when she said that the stepchildren would keep going through the milestones of life, that my DP might transition from father to grandpa and I would be on the (step)sideline forever I realised how far reaching it all would be. (and still is) With everything being different now, and so very busy, I almost forget how hard it once was. Thank you for keeping my empathy muscle in shape a little.
ReplyDeletegreetings from Amsterdam
oh, and (metoo) I would totally buy a calendar if you gave it some NZ touch
DeleteA book or a calendar is a nice idea.
ReplyDeleteInfinite loss -- it does sound daunting...
ReplyDeleteDefinitely interested in your book/calendar project & looking forward to hearing more!