12 November, 2018

Infinite wisdom, and a potential gift

A lot of people think that those of us who never had children never lost anything, because we never had anything to lose. My best friend at the time said this to me. and I’ve heard the view elsewhere. But recently, on a silly TV show, the wise comment was made along the lines that losing the past was painful, but losing the future was infinite. It struck me immediately that this is precisely why it is so painful for so many of us.

You all know though that I try (try being the operative word here) to choose not to think of the future I lost, but to focus on the future I have.

Finally, someone a while ago commented on one of my (brief) posts that they wish they had it laminated, and it got me thinking. I’m thinking about producing a simple and short book, or perhaps a calendar, of some of the memes and sayings that have been well received here on the blog. If I can get it done in the next week or so, it would be available for Christmas or the New Year, if there would be any interest in that. If that is, I can work out the technology and the logistics!


  1. Oh, I would totally buy that calendar, or a flipbook that could sit on the desk and be changed to a different meme or saying. That would be lovely.

    And infinite loss...yes. Thinking of the generational impact in particular. Of the word "legacy" and how to make it mean something different than progeny.

    I can't wait to see this production of yours! :)

  2. This is so true. I think people struggle with the concept of losing something that wasn’t physically there. People tend to shy away from the idea that loss happens even if the physical scars aren’t there (or are hidden). It requires a lot of empathy and insight so many struggle with as it is often extremely profound and not easily fixable.

    I think a calendar or flip-book is a great idea! That is something I would not only purchase, but happily gift to others

  3. Infinite loss... yes, this sentence completely gets our feelings.

    Flipbook / calendar with your quotes is a lovely idea!

  4. I don't know why the word "infinite" scares me more than "for ever". But it sure is something I discussed with my therapist. Navigating ever more complicated decisions. But when she said that the stepchildren would keep going through the milestones of life, that my DP might transition from father to grandpa and I would be on the (step)sideline forever I realised how far reaching it all would be. (and still is) With everything being different now, and so very busy, I almost forget how hard it once was. Thank you for keeping my empathy muscle in shape a little.
    greetings from Amsterdam

    1. oh, and (metoo) I would totally buy a calendar if you gave it some NZ touch

  5. Infinite loss -- it does sound daunting...

    Definitely interested in your book/calendar project & looking forward to hearing more!