31 July, 2023

Just Us: Barbie, feminism, and Not Kidding

This is the last topic I ever thought I would write about. I had a Barbie when I was a girl - it must have been a birthday present, and it was very unlike other birthday presents I had received. I was a bit of a tomboy - I got a gun, holster, bolero, and Deputy Sheriff badge when I turned five, and was terribly jealous of the boy next door, who also had chaps! (As you can see, our one channel of TV in the late 60s early 70s was dominated by US Westerns. lol) Most of my dolls, teddies etc seemed to be hand-me-downs, so a brand new Barbie was exciting and terribly glamorous. Until, just a short time after my birthday, my mother gave me a haircut. So my little sister decided to give Barbie one too. Her long glamorous blonde hair was gone - she had a raggedy pixie cut for the rest of her life. I was not impressed. And my sister is tired of being reminded of it!

Barbie was always unrealistic - I didn't really know any/many blondes, her figure was ridiculous, and when I knew enough to understand, infuriating. And I'm pretty sure I had her before the unrelenting pink phase (I abhor unrelenting pink for girls - even though I quite like the colour), and before the cars, houses, and all the other Barbies appeared on sale. The commercialism, the sexism, the impossible physical expectations of Barbie turned me against her.

So when I heard there was a Barbie movie, I didn't think it would be for me. But a fellow No Kidding friend and I decided to go. We'd heard good things, and we knew we couldn't drag our significant others along to see it. We went this morning. It made this old feminist happy. There were so many brilliant throw-away lines. And I especially loved the comment "if my feet were this shape all the time, I'd never wear high heels again!" Hear, hear!

I'd heard about America Ferrera's monologue about the contradictory expectations of a modern woman. What I loved about it was the inclusion of those who were not mothers, as well as those who were mothers. I had been enjoying the feminism of the film up to then, and realised I had been unconsciously bracing myself against the onslaught of expectations for mothers, and to feel ignored. But we were not ignored, not forgotten. The message was acceptance - of who we are, regardless of whether we have children or not, regardless of whether we are high achievers or not. I loved that latter point too, because so many of us without children feel that we have to do find the "Next Big Thing" to make up for not being a mother. But we don't. We can, of course, and that is wonderful. But equally wonderful is finding happiness in our lives being ordinary. Surviving. Thriving. By just being us. Ken and Barbie both learned that lesson in the movie. We all need to be reminded of it. Brava, Barbie!




8 comments:

  1. Oh wow, your sister made your Barbie into Weird Barbie! :) I cheered with the foot thing too, I haven't been able to wear heels in a year or two, and I think I'm just going to embrace that. I loved the speech but did feel like they were like OOPS! Put those not-moms in there too! I'll have to rewatch it to make sure I didn't miss more inclusion. It felt so nostalgic for me, and I found it so freaking funny. John Cena as a merman Ken has got to be my favorite.

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    1. Yes, to the Weird Barbie. I haven't mentioned that to her yet! lol
      I see what you mean about the OOPS. But I'll take an Oops over a Forgot-Completely any day. And I think it's the terminology - non-mothers/women without children/ etc etc that makes it sound so awkward. I loved the message of it. John Cena made me laugh - but then as you said, I was laughing throughout. It was VERY funny.

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  2. I haven't seen it yet, but I'd like to! Too bad my sister is so far away! lol We both got Barbies when we were pre-schoolers, in the early/mid-1960s -- the "classic" Barbies, before she got the wide-eyed look and, yes, was immersed in all things pink...! (Mine was a brunette!) (Like you, I was a bit of a tomboy when I was little.. there was a family of boys across the street that I hung out with! I got a toy rifle for my 3rd birthday -- like Chuck Connors in "The Rifleman," lol -- and there's a photo of me toting it and wearing a crinoline! lol) The dolls & clothes are still in my parents' crawlspace somewhere... we cleared out a lot of our old toys several years back, but for whatever reason, I could not part with the Barbie dolls just then! Not sure they would be worth anything today, as they were pretty well used!

    I've read some complaints from childless women online that the movie was slightly spoiled for them by a focus on mothers & daughters -- which I found strange, because the one thing Barbie has never been is a mother! But overall, the reviews have been overwhelmingly positive! (And I MUST see Ryan Gosling as Ken!! lol)

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    1. Oh, that's strange, because I didn't think there was a focus on mothers and daughters. Sure, there was a mother/daughter relationship, but it was about so so so much more. And Ryan Gosling was fantastic!

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    2. PS. I really really want to see the photo of you with a toy rifle! So wild to think that our childhoods were like that.

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    3. My sister took all of my parents' old photo albums to go through and scan some photos before one of their big anniversary parties, and she's never returned them! -- there are soooo many old photos that I can picture in my head and want a copy of (including that one!). I suspect I will actually be staying at her (recently purchased, larger) house more often in the coming years, so I'm hoping to get her to drag them out then!

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  3. Thank you for this, Mali! I wasn't going to watch this movie for the same reasons why I don't like the dolls - but I think you changed my mind ;-)!

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  4. Love this review. You and Jess make me want to see it. I'm so glad there was recognition for non-mothers. It made me wonder if Greta Gerwig was No Kidding, but she's not. She's just considerate and inclusive!

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