I’m thinking it is time to post
some positive things about my life, without children. So today, I’m just going
to talk briefly about connections.
The first is to thank you all. I’ve
made friends blogging here, and on my ectopic site. I often talk about it, but I
love it when we cross the barrier from only chatting on No Kidding topics, to
being involved (however distantly) in each other’s lives. Sharing book or
Netflix recommendations or bread recipes (thanks Klara!), dropping a note to a
friend, or meeting each other in real life or real time (eg
zoom/Skype/facetime), having already known each other for years. I’ve said many
times that internet relationships are real, and I’m grateful for them. It’s a
gift that I talk about a lot, but I continue to value you all, and feel the
need to express that again today.
Moving on though, I find that as we
grow older, we aren’t the outliers in the same way. Many of my friends now have
children who are adults and have left home. They have so much more time to
spend with us. We are all free and easy (elderly relatives excepting) together.
An example was this last weekend, when my husband and I went over the hill
(some might say we’re already there! Lol) and spent the night at my friend’s
house. We had a lovely catch-up, went out for dinner and a movie (socially
distanced), and ended the evening chatting around a fire under a big, starry
sky. Their kids are grown, and we chatted about them (my husband actually
helped out her son when he joined the same industry years ago) but they were not
the focus of their world any more.
Over breakfast the next morning, we
got talking about the human need to find meaning in life. Unlike some parents,
they did not feel that it was their meaning in life to have children. (Even
though they were both devoted parents.) We talked about the need to
connect with other humans. At times in our lives it might be harder to do that,
when we find many of those people we are around are focused on their children,
or when we need support in our later years (and I’ll have more to say about
that in due course). But in between, it definitely gets easier, the world feels
a bit more inclusive, and there is much fun to be had.
If you’re just starting out in this
journey, or if you’re surrounded by people having children right now, know that you’ll find
your connections, in real life and online. And it gets easier.