As we begin the long process of sorting through my in-laws' house, I once again sit back and wonder about our end of life. I'm not worried so much about who will want my stuff. I don't expect anyone will want it - and I'm okay with that. But who will clean up after us, in the way we are cleaning up after my in-laws? I look around our messiest room - the one I'm in at the moment - and think how awful it would be for someone to go through! I'
There's a thing called Swedish Death Cleaning. I can't remember where I first read about it, but it effectively means people in their retirement cleaning out their houses, getting rid of all their junk, and only keeping the relevant papers, and things that they need to live their lives. My mother did it. She didn't know she was doing Swedish Death Cleaning. But she sorted through all her closets and threw out clothes she no longer wore. She sorted through her papers, and (sometimes before I could stop her) was ruthless about what she kept and what she didn't. It made life easier for my sisters and I when she died - her small house still had plenty of stuff in it. But it was much easier to sort through. There was relatively little that needed to be thrown away.
I'm barely retired (I prefer unemployed, as it implies I am still employable!), but I need to do this. Seriously. Let's face it - if I had kids, I would still need to do it. We live in a four bedroom house that is full of our stuff. When there is space, it seems we spread out to fill it up. There are hundreds of books and papers that need to go. And clothes that I keep "just in case." Yes, maybe I need to do a Kondo number on my house. Or maybe I just need a spring clean - clean it up AND clear it out. This has always been the case, and so it isn't really Swedish Death Cleaning. But with cleaning out the in-laws' house it has become more obvious now that this is a job that will need to be done at some stage, and preferably (for my own peace of mind) sooner than later. I need to do as I say. Because this office is a bit of a dump!
I read a while ago a book about Swedish Death Cleaning and I loved it. It was right before we moved into our brand new little house. And with the help of that book I was pretty ruthless what we bring into our house from the old apartment and what we throw away/donate/sell.
ReplyDeleteSo I can say that there aren't many things in our house at all.
The next mission: we both try to avoid buying any unnecessary stuff. So far we are successful.
Yes, I have had the same thoughts - who will sort the things after we are gone? (I am also OK with the fact that nobody will want our stuff - it is OK - it is our stuff after all)
Good for you - I need to be ruthless too!
DeleteI wouldn't recommend moving unless you want/need to, because it's sooooo stressful -- but (as Klara above knows!) it is certainly one way to get that cleanout done, lol, especially when you're moving into a smaller space! We got rid of sooooo much stuff when we moved, it was embarrassing. We probably still have too much stuff -- the closets and storage locker are pretty full, and my bookshelves are overflowing and need to be culled (again), but there's a lot less than there used to be...!
ReplyDeleteAnd when you don't have a lot of space, you do tend to be a lot more careful about accumulating more stuff. COVID & not being able (or inclined) to get to the malls in months is also a help in that respect. ;)
My parents' house is another matter...! My sister & I have been encouraging & helping our mom to clean out closets & go through stuff while we're there, but it's a slllllloooooowwwwww process. They have been in this house for 36 years...! I could easily tackle a closet or cupboard myself when I'm there -- but it's not my stuff (well, some of it (still) is, but not all of it! lol) & she insists on supervising. Neither my sister nor I have a lot of space to take their things (although my sister already has some stuff, including our grandmother's buffet cabinet, china and treadle sewing machine!), and unless dh & I drive out there & back, I am limited to what I can carry with me on the plane in my suitcase/carry on.
Exactly! That's probably the reason why I DO need to clean up. We can't stay in this house forever (five floors, four sets of stairs), so at some stage I need to downsize!
DeleteMy mother and father moved when they retired, which was a good way of downsizing. My in-laws never did, so that's what we are faced with at the moment. I sympathise with you trying to clean out stuff with your parents.
Ohhh yes. My stuff. I have written about my storage unit a couple of times. And yes, I still have one, although it is four hours away from where I live now. I will eventually get all of my stuff in one place. And I do want my stuff from storage: tons of books, old t-shirts that I want to make into a t-shirt quilt, a couple of pieces of antique furniture, etc. I've gotten rid of A LOT of stuff over the last five years, but I still want to get rid of more. Of course, now that I'm addicted to quilting I'm also now addicted to fabric so there's a whole new category of "stuff" that I have. But, yes, overall, I want to not only Do Less but Have Less. ;)
ReplyDeleteYou know, I remember being a little girl and watching my grandmother go through a bunch of paperwork. She looked at me and said, "Don't keep all this stuff. You don't need it." It always stuck with me. Maybe I would have even more stuff if she hadn't shared that wisdom with me at such a young age.
Yes, I needed to be told that too! I also collected a whole lot of T-shirts from my travels with the intent of making a quilt, but then kinda forgot, and started wearing them all to the gym, then they got old and worn and faded and probably smelly, and so I threw them all out. Should have put them in storage. lol
DeleteSigh...my parents are Swedish Cleaning (I had to skip the second word), and every time they visit me now, they bring me a stack of books. It will all even out when I do my own Swedish Cleaning, I suppose.
ReplyDeleteYes, exactly what you said about space and stuff: no matter the size of the space, the stuff tends to fill it up.
Inheriting things from parents, however loved the possessions (or parents) doesn't help, I am discovering!
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