World Childless Week and my No Kidding story

World Childless Week starts today. This is something we should celebrate, all of us. A week for thinking and writing about the road less travelled, the childless of our societies, for whatever reason. Our voices are so often forgotten, ignored, or dismissed, how fabulous is it that we have a week heralding our stories, talking about our lives? It is there to help us all feel less alone, and more understood.

There are so many interesting topics and discussions, webinars and workshops, that I for one won’t be able to keep up! Check the all out at the link above. These are the topics being covered by submissions this year:

• Monday 16 September - Our Stories
• Tuesday 17 September - Childless Person of Colour
• Wednesday 18 September- The Importance of Pets
• Thursday 19 September - Childless Friend or Foe
• Friday 20 September - No Kids? Do you want Mine.
• Saturday 21 September - We are Worthy
• Sunday 22 September - Moving Forwards

Head over to WCW’s Our Stories page and check out all the other stories there.

As I said last year, this entire blog is my story – in much detail! It shows my origins, and the development of my thoughts. I even have a separate page titled My Story that includes a piece written in 2011 for the Huffington Post, and an update a decade or so later. I’ve repeated aspects of my story in many guises over the last two decades and more, most recently in the book Otherhood. So once again, I have decided not to write a submission this year. It's all here for you already. There’s only so much repetition that people can cope with, after all!

What is most important is the knowledge that my story didn’t end on the day when I knew I would never have children. Far from it! That’s when My No Kidding Story truly began. When I had to truly find out who I was, and how to enjoy life. How to truly live it, regardless of the hand I was dealt, with growth, with compassion, with love and joy.

And so I live my life. I accept what is, and what is not. I embrace the good things – and there are plenty – and remember the losses that got me where I am today. I think about the future – with determination and resolve, rather than with fear and trepidation. I relish the friendships and wisdom that have resulted. As I’ve said before, and will say again, I am someone who is, simply, enough. That knowledge is such a gift.

Monday Miscellaneous: No Kidding version

I've been a bit slack about keeping up with certain people this year. You know how you get to a stage when you leave it so long that the phone call is going to be a big deal? Or maybe you don't! I've never liked phone calls - I love face-to-face zooms when they're scheduled, and text chats keeping up with activities and news, but I hate being the one who has to phone! (At least in 2024, it is acceptable and easy to text/whatsapp etc first to see when someone is free.) I think my phone phobia comes from growing up with a party line. When we were little, we knew it was possible that neighbours could listen in (although most never did, one nosy neighbour was known to do it). So using the phone never came naturally. So, to get back to the point, I've been slack at phoning. But equally, we don't seem to have crossed their minds either, as they go about visiting children and grandchildren near and far, and living their family-filled lives. Fortunately, that is not representative of all my family and friends. It's a reminder though of how easily we can be isolated when we don't have kids. 

Otherhood is available worldwide! By early August, it was sold out on Amazon UK, and sold out on the Barnes & Noble site. But they're restocking. Feel free to request it from your bookstore. And one day, I just might come and sign it for you! lol  (Apologies for the blatant promotion!)

I still have great intentions to write about the other Otherhood essays, and the issues they brought up for me, and the aha moments I had when reading them. I still glow in the overwhelming feeling of togetherness and community I feel with the other contributors, whether or not they identify as childfree or childless or everything in between. Much like I feel with all my No Kidding readers and fellow bloggers, whether or not you are Not Kidding.

That Other Day that Shall Not Be Named

It was that other day which shall not be named yesterday, for the men in our lives. For some reason, this year, I’ve noticed a lot more advertising around it, days/weeks earlier. So has my DH. Maybe we’re just engaging (reading/streaming etc) more with some media (eg NZ TV’s free streaming platforms – which are actually very good) than we might usually. Still, we became immune to the ads, moved to other platforms, and so didn't see or hear too much on the day. Well, except for the photos from sisters-in-law (who seem oblivious to the fact that my DH might not want to see these things) of the breakfasts/desserts etc cooked for their men. Sigh. One day I'll say something.

Still, these days, without having elderly parents/in-laws anymore, it is easier for us just to ignore the day. We don't go out - but that's fine, as we avoid going out on Sundays throughout the year pretty much! It’s also almost 20 years since I lost my father, and now four years since we last celebrated a Father’s Day with my FIL, and this is the norm for us. Likewise, we don’t have to go into work the next day, and hear how others celebrated it. Life definitely gets easier in this respect as we age.

I hope the day passed peacefully for most of you (or continues to do so today – given time zones).